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Kamalrukh Khan said her resistance to convert to Islam deteriorated her relationship with Wajid. Know that muslims are just humans and they make mistakes, just like anyone else. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard. However, it is not your duty to protect your husband from himself. By Sehrish Sarah Khan-Williamson January 17, 2016 A faithful slave girl is better than an idolatress, though she should impress you. Read about Islam and listen to the Quran. And to Allah is the [final] destination.” [Qur’an 35:18]. Your duty is to be a compassionate, faithful and loving wife. People who struggle with addictions often have deep pain. My wife converted to Islam So my wife and I have been together for 16 years, married for almost 14 and over the past couple months she's decided to convert to Islam with the help of her teacher/acupuncturist/Sufi whatever. The evidence for this is the practice of the Prophet (pbuh) and the Companions regarding those who embraced Islam in Mecca before the Hijrah and at the Conquest of Mecca. ... My Husband Is Muslim — This Is How It Works #life #books #lifestyle #advice #help #relationships #advice – Jesse Creates […] View Source […] the choice between leaving her husband or staying beside him, Sheikh al-Qaradawy interprets the narration as even they will stay together as husband in wife with all meanings of the matter (including intercourse!). Under Islamic law, if a non-Muslim woman is married to a non-Muslim man, and she converts to Islam, the marriage is suspended until her husband converts to Islam. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. Your question required much reflection and consultation. 'My Wife Did Not Convert To Islam': Urmila Matondkar's Husband Refutes Viral Posts. Is this really what every non-Muslim be treated? Tell Him how you feel, and really open your heart to Him, so that He can see how devoted you are, and so that He can help you overcome this challenge and achieve victory. And he -in case she wants to separate- advises to do a legal divorce! You cannot force your husband, but you can nourish your own soul. If your husband continues to break his promises, drink alcohol, have affairs, and so on, dear sister, I ask you to consider this – what will happen if you fall pregnant? You are a beautiful soul <3. So if the wife and leaves her husband to a Muslim country the situation will change and the former fatwas should be applied! It means, he can be married to a Christian or a Jew. Every human has the right to decide what he wants in his life. At the same time muslims are allowed to marry people of the book! First off,I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I became closer to Allah and started wearing my hijab. The only people who know the words to the Sabbath prayers by heart in my husband’s (Jewish) family are me and my sister-in-law… who also converted. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. I would say, your husband converted to Islam to marry you and for the society for the love he has on you and not to lose you. Thank you very much in advance. If he spends some hours with the first wife, he should spend equal hours with the other... and so on. He equally shares in changing dirty diapers, spill patrol and nipping temper tantrums in the bud. I am nervous. As to whether a spouse who has consented to the other's conversion is estopped from seeking relief on this ground. Literally. At this stage of his life journey, It is better for him to not be in such regular contact with his non-Muslim family, especially because his faith is so fragile. It appears to me that your husband has "converted" to Islaam for all the wrong reasons. And if a heavily laden soul calls [another] to [carry some of] its load, nothing of it will be carried, even if he should be a close relative. Please do not blame yourself for his choices. It sounds like your husband has gone back to his old ways because he has returned to a location of so much past sin. Study Islam together with your husband and try … Your parents will be heartbroken, but perhaps they can reach out to your husband and positively influence him. Perhaps one day, when his faith is stronger, he can be a source of guidance for them. A 3rd Narration quoted by ibn al-Qayyim from Imam az-Zuhari (May Allah be pleased with him) says that they could stay together until a court ( i guess he by this means: an Islamic court) or a higher authority separates them! You can only warn those who fear their Lord unseen and have established prayer. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. And, another condition he skipped is: he MUST be 100% fair with both of them. Remember to pray daily and to include your Muslim friend. But this year, he told me many lies. Please ensure that he has had a blood test done to ensure he has not caught any sexually-transmitted infections, which he can then pass to you. Last night my husband told me he's converting to Islam, he doesn't expect me to convert, and that he'd still continue drinking alcohol, says that some Muslims drink anyway, and that any future kids would be brought up with the ability to make their own choices on religion. Muslim woman convert married to Christian man wants to marry Muslim man. What it’s like to convert to Islam for the man you love. What can I do? Whether or not you convert, I don't think you should stay married to this man. I really hope my answer helped in any way possible and I really hope you stay strong, beautiful and amazing <3, Guess Who? If you are a true believer of God and God only, your marriage is still valid. Nicole Queen and her husband talk about mixed race marriage, converts to Islam and give you the top 10 qualities to make it … I have high respect for all of you. Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. the court answered in the negative In Suresh Babu v/s V.P. Far as I'm aware there's no rule forcing divorce on a non-muslim wife. If he is unwilling to, then please go by yourself. It's time for a Husband Tag! He was reluctant initially, then he expressed his interest to learn about Islam. If he had converted out of actually knowing things about Islam (true meaning behind it and true values) he wouldn't have done all that and he would be respectful. He's using the faith to justify his own ill intentions. However, I have not told the man I love, my husband, the news. He is too easily influenced by their dunya-seeking ways. I found this on quora and it satisfied me a little, until I ask a proper authority. I’m trying my best to practice Islam, but I’m also trying my best to keep my relationship with my parents. Two weeks ago I made a life altering decision to convert to Islam. I didn’t disclose my correct age during Nikah. He already married a sister of your religion. We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. As far as you converting, he cannot force you but he also shouldn't be the standard you hold for Muslims. She could, in theory, leave the non-Muslim husband and marry a Muslim one. As from a shari'a point of view her marriage is still valid but considered as made temporary inactive! (Photo: Kamalrukh Khan/Instagram) Kamalrukh Khan, the wife of late musician Wajid Khan, has alleged that after her marriage, her husband’s family employed several tactics to compel her to convert to Islam. My parents will be upset if I don’t consider this unsuitable proposal. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. His family knows he converted but he drinks with them and never mentions Islamic things. I’d like to congratulate you on having been chosen by Allah for Islam and being saved from the wrath and punishment of Allah. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. Beg Allah to ease this burden. All you can do is set boundaries on acceptable behaviour. “And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. I come in peace.. My husband and I married in a Catholic Church and we have lived for 24 years. I’m American, raised Irish Catholic just outside of Chicago. I had no idea if he was or not. My father commits adultery and hates my mother, I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know, I met a beautiful girl while already engaged, so I prayed Istikhara, My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back, Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam, Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me, About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend. If you want to convert your Muslim friend to Christianity, you have to tell God first! We are living separate lives even though we are married, In my marriage, communication always results in conflict, My mother says disturbing things and brings me down, She says her marriage to me was forced and she doesn’t want it, Drunken husband having an affair, I have no money to leave, Unmarried sisters making our lives difficult, My husband is not standing up for me against his parents, My abusive father is creating family unrest and chaos, Haram relationship when I was young, now I feel unworthy to marry a good man, Swapping school for caretaking my sick wife. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”. But if you believe in, let me say, Hinduism, it is not valid to be married with you. Again, I am so sorry for what you went through, and I am really sorry for this bad image you might've taken about Islam. However, it didnt make much sense because I don't think that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) would want for women and children to become displaced as a result of the husband's conversion. As the scholars also, say if one of married couple convert to islam and the waiting period passed and the other also became muslim that their former husband/wife is the best to keep, this means their marriage is still acknowledged and they can live together as before as husband and wife. Does his marriage to me and my children became nothing just because he said he converted? I suggest that you reach out to your family for help. Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. He deceived you and isn't treating you fairly, when in Islam the wife and the mother is put on a pedestal and the best of men are those who treat their wives [well]. Am I wrong for divorcing my violent wife? Hello, A faithful slave is better than an idolater, though he should impress you. If your first wife doesnt agree, then you arent being justice and you are hurting her. Take notice how God says "fear". Hunt Ahmed, 45, is part of a growing sorority of female American converts to Islam, especially those who are or were married to Muslim men, who must deal with the perception that they converted to Islam because of domineering boyfriends or husbands. In the end, we had three weddings. "Situation for converts in non-muslim countries. I suggest that both of you attend culturally-sensitive marital counselling. Posted by R.A. • August 8, 2017 • Printer-friendly. They are not separated simply due to difference of religion. In another verse Allah says: “Today all the good things have been made lawful to you—the food of those who were given the Book is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them—and the chaste ones from among faithful women, and chaste women of those who were given the Book before you, when you have given them their dowries, in wedlock, not in license, nor taking paramours…” (5:5). The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. Please forgive me for the delay. I believe that your Allah is a just God and so I would like to be enlightened in this matter. He took his Islam seriously when we first married. Darkness brings about more darkness, and light brings about more light. But then God showed me the real score. Your husband is allowed to marry more than one wife but he must treat them all the same. These statements are based on an article which reports some discussion in the European Council For Fatwa and Research. I converted to Islam 14 months ago. But this year, he told me many lies. Only he can do that. He is my best friend, confidant, and the father of my children. Is my Nikah valid? Converted to Islam but still married to my Christian husband. He converted to Islam to marry me. Which isnt okay. Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. These are just questions that I can't seem to ask any Muslims... even though I am non Muslim..I hope you would answer me with full and total honesty as to what I believe your Quoran commands.. It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]. However, based on precaution, it is obligatory to refrain from marrying a non-Muslim woman in permanent marriage. One of the conditions of a muslim man marrying a second wife is for him to ASK for PERMISSION from his FIRST wife. But Allah knows best, and whatever mistake I make in giving you advice is from me, and whatever is right and helpful is from Allah. Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi added that in any case the woman should reject having intercourse with her (non-Muslim) Husband and after the waiting period she could choose still to wait for him or to leave him. I cannot continue to live in a lodge, with all the difficulties. I told my husband that I cannot live with him if he is not a practicing Muslim. The reason behind it is that Muslims do not deny the preceding Abrahamic religions, but they know Islam as the most complete and the last divine religion. And do not marry [your daughters] to idolaters until they embrace faith. Both of you have lost your connection to a strong Muslim community. Leela a husband converted to Islam and the wife file a petition for divorce on this ground. He kept on saying he is working till midnight but the fact is that he is cheating on me.After several weeks, he shocked me with the news that he is converting to Islam. At least, not fully. Please exhaust all options before considering divorce as a last resort. With that being said, I doubt the way your husband is treating you has anything to do with Islam. He is a grown man, with deep trauma, and perhaps going separate ways will be better for both of you. Your husband is likely to fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms. My husband converted to Islam and married another. It must've been quite shocking and painful , Second thing, let me tell you how much I love your heart and your respect. However we're not allowed to marry a Mushrik (one who sets up other Gods with Allaah swt) as that is the only Unforgivable sin, should one die on that belief. A former Muslim and mother of four was recently beaten, raped, and threatened with death for her conversion to Christianity. What a blessing to enter into the TRUE religion of Allah, the Exalted and leaving their false and distorted religions. Not only did the Prophet of Islam, when he was fifty-six, consummate his marriage with nine year old Aisha, (Sahih Muslim, 8, 3309), he also used … My fiance left me the very day she said she loves me! Ask your husband to remind you about the natural world, hygiene, exercise and other practices that help you feel in step with your faith. What a strong woman you are! He needs to be able to answer you! In Islam the wife and mother has a special status. Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. Reflect on the possibility that it may be better for you to be divorced, with a heart and body free to worship Allah, than to be tied to a man who is growing more and more distant from Allah. By - Swasti Chatterjee. I am his wife for many years but now, he treats me and children as a mistress. It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. We all need love and connection to thrive. It sounds like he has been trying to drown out his deep sorrow using addictions such as sex, drugs and alcohol. It will set your mind at ease. Your husband has lost his connection to himself, and his connection to Allah. Personally I admire Muslims in your worshipping of the Lord but I have question..do you tolerate this kind of cheating just because I am not a Muslim? No other woman who has converted to Islam should suffer like me. And I hate it so much when so-called muslims do these kind of things without thinking. Something along the lines of "if he FEARS unjustice hes not allowed to get married to more than one. Right now, he is not ready to be continually exposed to them. Emotionally, physically, etc. Because my husband converted two months into our engagement, many people - including my Muslim family - thought he was faking it. When one of the couple converts to Islam whilst the other is not at war with Islam, they are allowed to remain together. Those invite [others] to the Fire, but Allah invites to paradise and pardon, by His will, and He clarifies His signs for the people so that they may take admonition” (2:221), Therefore in Islam, as described in the other Abrahamic religions , it is prohibited to marry a man or a woman who does not believe in God. I don't know your husbands intentions but he didn't treat you how Muslim men should treat their wives. I had no clue what's over and so I was devastated to hear it. She earns a lot of respect and must be treated right. Dear sister, I am so sorry about the great tribulation you find yourself in. This actually makes a lot of sense. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. Whatever he gives one, he must give the other. A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish woman. My husband turned into my teacher as he taught me all about Islam, fasting and the Islamic prayer. … While planning my weddings I googled, “I married a Muslim.” I guess I wasn’t surprised by the results, but I was disappointed. Dear sister, it is only natural for you to want to protect your marriage. I really have a strong feeling your husband only converted because he wanted to marry another one so he thought "oh... Islam allows marriage multiple time so I will justify my cheating with tthat!" Pour out your sorrow to Him. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Its not over ’til the Trumpet is Blown – Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 3, My husband abandoned me for the second time during pregnancy, My boyfriend abandoned me when he found out I am pregnant, I’m from a broken family so his parents won’t give their consent. The opinion of almost all Muslim scholars is that if the wife converts to Islam and the husband does not, they automatically enter 'iddah (waiting period) for divorce. I asked God what made him change and it is really what he wanted, then I would respect it. What is islam? For a converted woman who lives in a non muslim country one should take into account her situation and maybe look at some not that popular fatwas about the matter we can find that Sheikh al-Qaradawy quotes that ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziya counted 9 different opinions here just 3 of them revealed in the article: We can find that 'Omar ibn al Khatab (May Allah be pleased with him) as quoted by ibn al-Qayyim that he gave a former christian woman, which converted but didn't leave her non muslim husband (and homeland?) I lied to my family, but the truth would destroy them. Remind your husband to stick to practices that brings him closer to Allah. No man is worth losing faith over. He took his Islam seriously when we first married. We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. M. Indira Gandhi was stunned to discover that her husband had converted to Islam. The results went from utterly unrelatable to downright racist. Unfortunately, you are unable to force him to change. You seem to be a very wise and righteous woman. This is mentioned in the Quran. He became an absentee father and husband.” Family of Wajid Khan labelled their children illegitimate, asked him to remarry “Wajid’s family kept insisting that our children were illegitimate since we had not married as per Muslim law (Nikaah, which if I was to do, would mean me converting to Islam). Please wake up in the last third of the night (even if 10 minutes before the entry of Fajr) and perform the Prayer of Need. Upon arrival, I converted to Islam and we married,” Alyona tells me. I married to a Turkish man and I am American. Living in Saudi, get married online by Philippines? You need to figure out for yourself, if this is a marriage you are willing to stay in. In Islam,just like other religions, you aren't allowed to hurt others. For instance, if he gives one wife a present, he should give the other a present as well. Once again, no woman should be treated like that and Islam DOES NOT order men to marry another woman freely. If you believe jesus to be god or son of god or any part of god than you are not of the book! You do not have to offer specific details, but you can describe that your husband is going through a hard time, and you are struggling too. He knows of my interest in Islam and he knows I read the Qu'ran but he does not know I said Shahadah. SwastiChatterje. A point which is stated by Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi is: That if the Marriage itself is regarded as invalid in Islam they would be divorced automatically: For example a woman who married a mahram. Also i do believe that your marrige is null and void if he is now a muslim. He has yet to tell his family or friends in Turkey he has got married. Her surprise turned to anger when she discovered that, without consulting her, he had also converted their children. It is a great responsibility for the husband and that's why Allah says: Which is pathetic to say the least. Viral posts on Facebook claim the actor turned politician converted to Islam and changed her name to 'Maryam Akhtar Mir' following her marriage to Kashmiri businessman and model. Take care sister, I wish you all the best. He is not muslim and I do not know how to share the news. Is it possible for you to move closer to your parents, your Muslim friends, or another location with a stronger Muslim community? May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Totally in love with non-Muslim man, what is the solution? My husband is a Kurdish Turk, raised Muslim. "But my resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband, making it toxic enough to destroy our relationship as husband and wife, and his ability to … I pray this finds you well. Convert to Islam Issues Husband not introducing Muslim convert wife to his family . Do you want him, in his current state, to the the father of your child? Give him space to be himself. He has no time to be with us anymore. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. You want to have a husband who is firm on his faith, so he can be a support to you in your vulnerable times of pregnancy, post-partum recover, and the exhausting early years of child-rearing. The main verse in the holy Quran that discusses marriage of believers with non-believers says: “Do not marry idolatresses until they embrace faith. He says his parents wouldn't approve or understand. So don't judge Islam by the behavior of muslims but read about Islam so you will understand. But if you believe for him to be a prophet of god than you are indeed on the right track and your marriage might be valid. Muhammad Ali‘s public conversion to Islam, in 1964, was among the most defining moments of his remarkable life.The decision enraged his critics — … I do not have too much knowlege, but for you this would be a good place to start. This 'iddah is 3 months or 3 menstrual cycles. It shows in the fact that he carried on a relationship with a woman enough to want to marry her, while he was not a Muslim and was already married. Well-meaning relatives may try to suggest that. Nope, he wont. therefore in an islamic country a Judge would either divorce you after the waiting period or confirm your marriage. The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. I felt betrayed because I respected his decision to convert but not with the intention of having another wife. He wants me to be converted also but I asked him how would I be a believer of your faith if this is how you gave me. Do I have to be converted just to receive just and fair treatment? So do you think God will actually allow that? Ok so the questions you have for your husband are very Very very valid and question the fact whether he became a muslim for the wrong reasons. He promised he would not have an affair or drink again, but I discovered that he has been drinking again. My husband is a convert to Islam. After all, love that matters for you both to stay together and lead a happy life. (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess.
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